I will get a massage at the drop of a hat. Bad day? Book a massage. Vague sorta-discomfort in the shoulder region? Massage. Some douche in a Holden cut me off in traffic? Whoops - booked a massage.
Which isn't to say I don’t need them - I’m not entirely secretive about my anxiety issues and the majority of that goes straight to my neck and shoulders. And I’m a regular boob-muscle puller because the damn things are like, 6kgs or something. And I stand terribly so the small of my back becomes compacted. Anyway, just take my word for it, there are plenty of reasons why my recent back-massage Thing is not entirely a terrible idea.
I had a remedial massage about two weeks back - a proper one, with a sports masseuse, in a damn sports stadium. And as lovely as the lady in question was (“eek! My legs are all spiky!” “I’m used to dealing with men!”), and as effective as it was, the focus is obviously on wrangling your body into submission and not on relaxing you (fair enough). I’ve had some trouble locating a midpoint. Pretty much any massage is lovely while it’s happening, but the trick is finding something that is effective but still an indulgence and has an effect beyond the following half-hour or so.
I booked an Elements Beauty Spa body massage in a whim, really. I follow them on twitter, they advertised a full body massage special that ran until the end of August, and I figured that right in the middle of Book Week might warrant a massage since historically by this stage I’m a whimpering wreck. They’re situated in Applecross, which is further afield than I’d usually go, but a really straightforward path off the Kwinana and, as it turns out, a bit of a bitch to park near. Not that it’s their fault; they’re in the middle of a one block long, bustling cafe strip with far less parking than needed. Factor this in: it’s a little hard to switch into salon-mode when you’re over-warm and wheezing.
Won't give you a blow by blow account because it’ll read ultra creepy, but the miracle of this particular treatment was that it was both intensely relaxing (May have drooled on the floor. Unsure) and forceful enough to be felt days later. I had asked for firm beforehand, and that’s exactly what I got. In the past, salon massages were always a relaxing experience, I’d float off, and the next day it was like it’d never happened. I’m also a fan of the cattle-massage: you know, the franchises with curtained off compartments and staffed by tiny Asian women who are freakishly strong. I've always gotten very effective remedial treatment here - but it’s not really a relaxing experience, so many people crowded into a space like that and it’s always noisy. The Elements massage was the first time I've really felt the salon experience and the therapeutic benefit were equally valid, which is a little bit fricken awesome.
I've rebooked, because omg. The $65 full body massage offer is valid until the end of August (I think?), but after that point it’s $100 which I still think is incredible for the time/energy. Would totes recommend. TOTES. Here’s a dog crossing a road.